Are you a man in your 30s, 40s or 50s who feels...

  • Lost ? 

  • Stuck ?

  • Without meaning or purpose ?

  • Like the colour, joy and passion is missing from your life ?


Maybe you want to change something but just don't know where to start...

There is hope, and I can help you rediscover the real you.

I help middle aged men to pursue joy, purpose and meaning in their lives so that they can achieve the life they always wanted.

Maybe you've really worked hard to get where you are now, but somehow it doesn't feel right?  It should be good enough, shouldn't it?  But there's still something missing.   You shouldn't complain - objectively you know things are ok, I mean, they could be worse right? Yet, somehow, this just doesn't feel like the life you always pictured.

Or maybe things didn't turn out the way you hoped.  Something unexpected happened, something bad, something you couldn't have ever predicted, and it turned your life upside down.  You struggled to recover your old-self after that.  And now you don't know how to put it right?  To return to the life you want. 

Maybe your dissatisfaction keeps you up at night.  And when you do get off to sleep, its helped by booze, and then you need several cups of coffee the next day to get you going.  You don't want to fall asleep because your evening is your only time to yourself, and you don't want to get up in the morning to go do the thing you hate? 

 

And you don't feel like you have anything to look forward to...

Perhaps you never got the chance you wanted, or for whatever reason, you weren't able to take the chance you did have.  You might feel jealous of others that have got what you always wanted, or you just feel there's a something, deep within you, left to do or left to prove.

Maybe you feel guilty or ashamed even about having these thoughts to begin with.  And try as you might, you can't stop thinking that you deserve something better.  You grieve for the life you never got to lead. And these feelings have now left you feeling disconnected, and maybe your friends and loved ones have started to notice.

Or perhaps, alternatively, you might even know what it is that you need to change, because for you its and clear and simple and well within your grasp.  But you just can't seem to get there on your own.

And you might have even tried things to help yourself: you go to the gym, and you've tried mindfulness and relaxation and yoga and tried thinking positively at all times.  You listen to a recording at night, and use a ingenious coaching app during the day, in the hope that technology might finally be the thing that fixes it all.  And it just hasn't worked.  And you wonder if this is just how it is for you...

But it isn't. This is not all there has to be.  You are not alone and I can help.  I've been where you are now.

The good news is that these thoughts, feelings and related problems can be helped through a programme of cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy and resilience coaching.  Through these methods I can give you the skills and knowledge, in a short period of time, to get where you want to go and be who you want to be, and through our partnership in working together we can get you and then keep you on the right course.

These questions and challenges are entirely normal, and common particularly during periods of transition, hardship and adversity.  They are so common in fact that these experiences have in recent years been described as 'mid-life malaise' as it frequently seems to affect people from their 30s and upwards. 

 

All we need to start you on your journey to where you want to be, is your willingness to change and your curiosity as to just what you are capable of.

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"When I first started working with Chris I averaged about 4 to 5 hours sleep a night. Thanks to him I now have a normal sleep pattern and this has had a huge impact on all aspects of my life. I am incredibly grateful"

A.   Engineer, Portsmouth

"I was really drawn to the mindful approach Chris uses.  After only a couple of online coaching sessions I feel I have regained my confidence, am much happier in how I feel, and much more confident in my goals.  In the beginning I was a sceptical about online coaching but now I highly recommend it. " 

M.   Personal Trainer, Brighton

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What we offer, how we do it, and how long it takes

Cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy and resilience coaching are evidence-based approaches which means using only methods supported by scientific, clinical evidence.  Further information of our methods and approach is found here:  services and methods page.

For 1-to-1 therapy or coaching, we will always agree the initial duration of the treatment plan in our free 30 minute telephone consultation.

Usually, we would probably expect an 1-to-1 therapy plan to entail 6 sessions of 1-to-1 therapy initially.  This may be sufficient for most people's needs, although of course, each person is different and are working with a different combination of challenges. 

 

We will always review our progress at regular intervals in our 1-to-1 sessions, and agree between us, if, and how many, more sessions could be beneficial.  Our commitment is always to get you where you need to be in the shortest amount of time possible.

We also offer short courses and workshops both face-to-face and online, starting from 1 hour introduction sessions.  

Helping you with the other issues you are facing

The doubts and confusions you are experiencing may also be accompanied by, or caused by, other challenges and issues such as:

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·         Our not living life in pursuit of our own true and core values;

·         Self esteem, self confidence and assertiveness in our work and relationships;

·         Anxiety and worries about money, work, reputation, appearance, health, our families, the environment, Covid-19...this list can go on and on!;

·         Poor sleep and unhelpful habits relating to food, exercise, alcohol and drugs, gambling etc;

·         Lack of motivation and, critically, not knowing what or where to make changes; and

·         Screwy thoughts and negative internal dialogue - what we refer to in therapy as 'cognitive distortions'.  In essence these are the faulty filters through which we can often see the world. 

My aim therefore is to help you address all these issues in order to live a life of meaning, purpose and joy whilst acknowledging our challenges and that we all experience a full range of normal human emotions.  There is no false or 'toxic' positivity here.

It is important to note however that if you are, or might be suffering from clinical depression, than you must consult your GP or a clinical psychologist in the first instance.  Clinical depression is different and more severe than low mood and must be treated appropriately.  If you are in any doubt, please contact us and we can guide you to the right support systems. 

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